


Knots

by Leilatigress



Series: Alpha/Omega [1]
Category: Dragon Age II
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Complete, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-10
Updated: 2014-11-10
Packaged: 2018-02-24 19:15:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,769
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2593142
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Leilatigress/pseuds/Leilatigress
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>One shot about how wrong or right things can go in a relationship. One shot from Alpha/Omega Prompt. Now Hopefully easier to read. :P</p>
            </blockquote>





	Knots

Carver has broken all of her heat suppressant in a rage she doesn't understand. Hawke cries as she removes her clothes from the pack shaking out all the shards of glass. 

“That is going to be a problem junior.” Varric says grimly and Carver nods his head numbly. 

What has he done? How could he be so stupid? How could he do this to his sister. He looks around at the men and women with them on the expedition and his jaw tightens when his eyes rest on Fenris and Anders. Both men are Alphas, both men are unbonded and both men want his sister. Varric walks over to Hawke and helps her carry her clothes to the stream to start washing them. 

“How long?” Varric asks. 

“Two days, not enough time to do something about it. I am out of time Varric, and I am not sure what to do.” Hawke admits with a shake of her head.

“We have enough supplies to get you through it.” He assures her. 

“I don't want to bond, not this way and not down here. How am I going to deal with this?” Hawke asks anguished. 

“I don't know, I do know Fenris was bonded before. He may be able to help you.” Varric supplies. 

“Anders,” Hawke is closer to the mage. 

“Would be able to tell you clinically how to deal with it but he's never bonded.” Varric reminds her.

Carver is sitting on a rock far away from Hawke and the rest of the camp. Even on suppressant he's had to deal with this sister's heats before. He's never been able to be around her for that week and now he's forced her to go into open heat with at least three alphas and in the middle of no where. 

“What is wrong?” Fenris asks approaching him warily and indicating Hawke washing her clothes. 

“She is a female omega and she is washing her clothes because her heat suppressant has been shattered. I was throwing a fit and kicked her pack. I know better, you've been around her when she goes into heat. Even on suppressant she drives all of us crazy. Now however she'll be in heat in two days and we are down here.” 

Fenris' eyes go wide and he clenches his jaw. “She will have us all in rut, even if we left today she would call us back. We do not have the herbs to make more, not enough time either. We need a secure place to put her.” Fenris walks away and disappears for several minutes.

Hawke is done washing her clothes and has them drying on the rocks when Fenris walks up to her. “Come with me, I have a plan.” Hawke looks to Varric who shrugs and then follows Fenris with Varric in tow. He leads them down several tunnels until they see a room with a door on it. 

“You elf are brilliant.” Varric walks into the space glancing around marveling at the craftsmanship of his race even after all of these ages. 

“Once closed you can open it from the inside, there are vents at the top that will allow you to close the door and keep it closed for as long as you need.” Fenris indicates the long narrow slots at the top and along the sides.

“Thank you Fenris.” Hawke hugs him and Varric does not miss the way the elf runs his hands down her back or kisses the top of her head before he releases her. 

“How many full heats have you had?” Fenris asks suddenly tilting her chin up so she will look at him. 

“This will be my second.” Hawke admits looking away, anywhere but at those judging eyes.

“Then Maker have mercy on us all.” Fenris drops his hand shaking his head and walking away. 

“Why?” Hawke asks confused. 

“You are what 21 at most? You have been on heat suppressant since they first started. This heat will be longer and more powerful than your first one since you are not bonded and have not had a child. It was how I bonded the first time. He was a lesser mage and it was horrible to go through. He had been chosen for me, neither of us had a choice. I resisted as long as I could but in the end it was not enough.” Purse of lips for that admission even as eyes trace her again, he can't and has never been able to keep away from her. 

“I do not want to be bonded Fenris, not to you, not to Anders not to anyone down here. I can't right now, not with what needs to be done. I can't raise a child right now either.” Fear has her voice trembling and it's all alpha that responds.

“Then I will do my best to give you a choice Hawke. Know if you do choose me, we will get through all of this.” Fenris holds his hand out to her wiggling his fingers to have her join hands with him is thankful she does. 

She nods and walks back with him. Hawke sits near Anders for dinner and pushes her food around her plate not really hungry.

“What's up Hawke? I am positive the potatoes were mashed enough before they got on your plate.” Anders asks removing her fork from her hand. 

“Has there ever been someone you wanted to bond with?” Anders narrows his eyes at her and then tilts his head strands of hair have escaped their imprisonment to float around his head the chocolate strands make Hawke want to run her fingers through it. 

“No, I'm not even sure I can since I bonded with Justice why. Wait really?” Anders closes golden eyes a sigh escaping him. “Not down here Hawke, too many people and too dangerous. I like you as a friend but I am not sure we would be a good idea. I will break your heart.” . 

“You may not have a choice.” Carver sits down and takes Hawke's hand which she squeezes before moving to lean against him.

“Why? I know you have heat suppressant, I made it myself for you.” Anders waves indicating her pack. 

“I broke it on accident.” Carver admits softly green eyes begging for forgiveness and Anders stands up shaking his head. 

“Two days, we don't have enough time, do we have someplace to put you?” Anders asks nervously looking around. 

“Fenris found a vault, should be fine.” Hawke mumbles taking Ander's abandoned fork and forcing herself to eat. 

“Let's hope it works.” Anders sits back down and picks at his food with his fingers. 

“Do you have anything you can make to help deal with?” Hawke's cheeks color and so do Carvers. 

“No, I have health and lyrium potions and that is about it. I had you covered with the suppressant. We will need to guard you, maybe have Varric do that since he's not affected. Not sure how to deal with the rut though other than locking everyone's weapons up which we can't do since we might be attacked by dark-spawn oh this is lovely.” Anders is pissed stands jerkily grabbing Hawke's plate and Carvers and walking off. 

Varric doesn't want to guard Hawke, he wants to keep moving the expedition and pick her up in 7 days when its over. She'll be safe in the vault and while the alphas will be murderous at least they will have dark-spawn to take out the aggression on. 

Fenris shoots down the plan though, “We won't leave her. We can try, but none of us will make it far especially if we think she is in danger which she will be. We will all be convinced the other men are trying to hurt her, its what causes a rut.” He's standing braced for a blow arms loose at his side muscles taught. 

“Have you ever been in one?” Varric asks glancing at the elf, the white hair a striking contrast to the golden skin etched with the blue-white tracks of pure lyrium. 

“Yes, I won. I have an unfair advantage with my markings and being trained to fight. Anders might be interesting with his magic but I will kill him too if he goes too near her. I will happily kill them all.” Fenris shakes his head and looks to see where Hawke is. “It's starting, her body is already starting to put the signals out and we still have another day until full heat.” He is walking towards her holding his hand out. “Time to put you away Hawke, you are already affecting us.” Hawke looks past Fenris to see her brother and Anders along with several other men watching her intently. 

One of the men approaches her as she passes. “Hands off elf, she hasn't chosen anyone yet. She's not in heat yet, she can't choose yet.” Fenris glares at the man. 

“You will submit to me little man, you will not compete for her or I will kill you. Acknowledge your submittal.” Fenris has placed her behind him near a wall though his body is tense for the fight. Hawke wants to rub her body against him like a cat and does. Fenris stiffens as he feels her rubbing over him, “Hawke stop, you are marking me.” Hawke suddenly stops and runs away from Fenris and the other man. Fenris swears as the men chase her including Carver and Anders. 

“What the hell elf?” Varric is keeping pace with the elf as they run after the mob. 

“She is a tasty morsel and the wolves have decided to give chase.” He says and runs past the dwarf. Hawke is struggling with the door, her brother and Anders trying to close it as the other men fight to keep it open. Fenris jumps into action clearing the men off the door and then helping Carver and Anders close the door. Her supplies are already in there, and the men disperse leaving Carver, Anders and Fenris near the door. 

“Vents will keep her alive for the most part but she will need to open the door for a few hours of the day to keep the air circulating.” Fenris leans on the door to catch his breath. 

“We can do this.” Carver boasts looking at the other two men. 

“Junior, you are far more optimistic than I am about all of you.” Varric sighs sitting on his bedroll near the door.

“You think we will break?” There is a slight tremor of worry in Carver's voice. 

“Yes I do, and I think she will too. I am just hoping I can keep you from bonding with your own sister.” Varric's words are cast like stones. 

“For the most part I am immune to that urge, its more a urgent need to protect her. To keep everyone else away from her. Last couple of days of her cycle though, those days mom and I would go hunting or stay as far away as possible. Even on suppressant she is potent.” Carver admits and Varric nods. 

First day several fights break out but nothing serious. Bartrand does keep the men moving forward into the thaig looking for treasure. By day three none of the alphas will leave the cave where they camp and its covered in fights with the betas trying to maintain order. Fenris, Anders and Carver keep the men there. 

“I need to move away as far as I can tomorrow, I will take the other men with me that I can.” Carver decides and Fenris nods, he knows they won't be able to move far but any distance is better than this.“You could come with us.” Carver offers trying to not notice the huge bulge all of them have in the front of their pants. 

“No, I swore I would stay with her and I will.” Carver nods in understanding sees the elf is looking a bit worse for wear is sure he does as well. 

Hawke has to open the door, she calls out to Varric and he helps her get the door open. “Need fresh air for a minute. Ugh I am bored.” 

“Naked, you are naked as well Maker's Breath Hawke put some clothes on.” Varric turns away. 

“They hurt, everything hurts. I want, I want.” 

“I know Hawke but whom do you want?” Varric says gesturing towards the end of the tunnel and the men he knows are there. 

“Hawke, close the door. Please close the door.” Fenris stands at the end of the hallway. He is fighting his body and his urge to take her. 

“Want, it hurts Fenris, it hurts.” 

“I know Hawke, but not here not now. You told me no.” Fenris is pleading with her.

“I marked you, you want me.” Hawke is enticing with her long hair and body covered in sweat. 

“Hawke have mercy on me, please close the door.” Fenris turns away.

“On your knees Hawke. I will claim you.” Anders is walking towards her and Hawke is afraid. Afraid of the man that walks towards her with his voice booming at her. 

“Anders?” Varric asks nervously 

“No Justice, Anders does not want this. Do not take that choice from him, please Justice.” Hawke is pleading. 

“You are in need of a mate, Anders will not take you and Fenris does not want to so I will. You should be bound.” Justice booms and Varric is cursing as he draws his sword and steps in front of Hawke. 

“Close the door Hawke or choose.” Varric gestures at the two men glances at her with pity in his eyes. Hawke goes to close the door but it is too late, far too late. Justice blocks the door and Fenris is there a moment later both reaching for her. 

“Fenris, I choose Fenris. Justice back off.” Justice shakes his head and reaches for her again. 

“No, I will claim you.” 

“Blondie, I am sorry.” Varric smacks Anders in the back of the head with Bianca. Sheathing the crossbow he grabs one of Ander's legs and Fenris grabs the mans' torso.

“Close the door Hawke.” Fenris glances over his shoulder a groan finding it's way past his lips. She is on her knees hands down with her forehead on her hands. It is a choice and Fenris curses long and low as he walks back to her. Reaching down he pulls her up and keeps a hold of her chin. “Do not choose me because you have to, I will close this door and keep my vigil. I will not force this on you.” 

“Fenris please, I hurt so much I just want to not hurt.” Eyes beg him, needing relief. 

“Say it Hawke. Tell me what you want.” Fenris is forcing the issue and Varric is amazed at his control. 

“I choose you Fenris, I choose you as my bonded mate now until we part.” Then he's picked her up and kissed her only stopping long enough to close the door before continuing. She is silk and fire in his hands and he wants all of it. Hands get to know her and rubs to make sure she is ready for him. Her body is weeping in relief as it feels him. Slipping out of his armor he takes her to the pallet of a bed. She is begging and running hands all over him stroking his already hard cock and he can feel his knot rising as well. He wants to take this slow, needs to take this slow but she has other ideas. Hawke pulls him down to her and wraps her legs around him trying to force him to her. He smiles at this, she has always been impatient with everything else why would she be different about this? When he does enter she arches her back in ecstasy and tries to get him in farther. This he stops, can give her relief without bonding to her. He has to stay in control though. Stroking in and out of her he takes her up and down for hours. He makes sure she does not take his knot locking them together. She realizes this when they stop to drink and eat. 

“You are refusing to bond with me?” Hawke asks looking at him. 

“I am.” 

“Why?” 

“Because choices you make when you are in heat are not choices you should have to live with.” Fenris laces his fingers with hers, nibbles on the tips. 

“But I want you, I chose you, I said the words.” Hawke is pleading. 

“No Hawke, I will not bond with you. Not now, maybe after this heat is over but I will not while your body is ruling your mind.” He's tempted Maker but she is everything he wants.

“Forgive me for this then.” Fenris is on his back paralyzed. He reaches deep and tries to activate his markings to break the spell. Hawke strokes him and Fenris can't hold back the moan. With the moan comes his markings and he stops Hawke by flipping her on her back.

“Do not ever do that again Hawke, I am not your slave. I will not obey your every whim.” Fenris is furious even as he enters her again sending her mewling in pleasure. 

“I chose you Fenris, honor our bond.” She is furious too trying to get control of their coupling and Fenris denies her. 

Again and again he denies her and again and again she begs him to complete her. He only sleeps when she does ever wakeful to her slightest movement. However when he wakes up on the 7th day his control has deserted him. Eyes open to see her washing herself water sliding down her body as she takes a sponge bath. Her scent hits him like a sledgehammer. 

“Come to me Fenris, almost over. Last day today and you are free, come clean up.” Hawke is beckoning him and he goes to her allowing her to wash him. It is a service he has performed countless times for those he was mated to. It is the one thing he was allowed to do to anyone they put him with and he enjoyed it. Now she is doing it for him and he catches her hand against him and then pushes her against the wall and kisses her deeply. 

“Tell me Hawke, tell me you want me when this is over. Tell me you truly want to be my mate.” 

“I do, I said the words, have begged you to bond us and I will beg you again.” He knows she is lying but he cannot stand it anymore. For while he has spurted over and over unless she knots him he will have no relief and he needs it as much as she does. He lifts her and she wraps her legs around his waist sliding onto him easily. She is set just above his knot and he knows there is no going back as he thrusts fully in crying out in ecstasy with her. 

Carrying her back to the bed it feels like every thrust is the best thing he has had in his life. He remembers this feeling, this completeness and knows she feels it too. Hopes this is what she truly wants, knows in his heart it is not. He takes her three times with his knot before he finally allows her to rest and knows she is going to be sore and tired. Hawke lays quietly atop him as they wait for his knot to release. When it does she is asleep and he takes the time to clean them both up and eat and drink. They still have plenty of rations and Fenris knows she has not been eating or drinking properly. He will have to watch her carefully in the next few days as they are not done here in the deep roads. 

Finally Hawke wakes up and its as if a cloud has lifted from her mind as she sees Fenris sleeping naked next to her and she is in tears. This is not what she wanted, this is not who she wanted. Hand goes to her stomach and knows there is to be a child which makes her cry even more. Taking a deep breath she hopes Fenris did not hear her, tries to be brave about this entire thing. She tries to remember when she chose Fenris and comes up empty. She remembers going into the vault, remembers Fenris promising to not take her unless she truly wanted it and then nothing. Washing her face she drinks some water but does not eat, she has no appetite and is afraid the food will make her nauseous. Taking a moment to arrange blankets over Fenris and then dressing in the tunic and pants she packed for after. They are loose and non constricting as she knows she will still be aroused for a couple more days. She has to get out of here though, she can't stand to be locked in here another moment. As she puts her hand on the door he stirs. “Don't. We need to talk before you open that door, do not be a coward now.” 

“I have to get out of here, I need to.” Hawke is trying to not cry, not be hysterical. 

“Stop Hawke, don't run from me now. Not when you begged me to get me in here.” Fenris says quietly. 

“This is not what I wanted, you knew that going in. I do not want you like this, you are not the one I wanted.” The words taste like acid but are said anyways. 

“Who then Anders? Justice took control of him, would have taken you if you had not chosen me.” Fenris reasons with her. 

“No, not Anders, not you I have no idea who but not you two. What happened? Wait never mind its pointless. I chose you, I will accept that. We will figure this out. Can I leave now?” Hawke is desperate to get out of this room, away from their combined scents. 

“You will wait for me to get dressed and yes you may leave. You will need to stay close to me, do you know about the longing?” Fenris is already dressing.

“Yes, I know my role as the Omega Fenris, no worries I will stay close. I have no intention of going insane or dying.” Fenris deserves her anger, wants her anger to keep him from admitting he is happy about this. Happy she is his forever. She takes a moment to get everything gathered to get it out of the room and Fenris helps her. Varric is waiting on the other side of the door and walks away as they get the stuff out of the room. Placing the bedding and her clothes in a pile and indicates Fenris to put his pile there as well. He closes his eyes knowing what she intends. Most couples keep the sheets from their bonding as a memento but Hawke does not. She watches as flames lick over the clothing and then sends fireball after fireball into the vault to cleanse it. Only when her magic is exhausted does she walk away and moves away from him when he tries to comfort her. It is not lost on Varric. 

“I take it in the light of day she is regretting her choice?” They watch her walk away. 

“No more than I Varric, no more than I.” Fenris packs his gear and following her. Hawke takes advantage of the shallow pool and bathes feeling more like herself as she washes Fenris' scent off her and heals herself to take away the marks. Healing his wounds with a flick of wrist she is out of the pool before he can say anything. Carver is at the fire when she comes out of the cavern and goes to hug her but stops when she holds a hand out to him. 

“Don't. You know the rules Carver, he won't let you touch me.” 

“I am your brother, I will touch you if I damn well please.” He is hugging her and she is rubbing her face against him, burying her face in his chest. Carver knows she is marking him as hers but doesn't stop her, its something she has done for as long as he can remember. It is something all omegas do and Beth and his father did it as well. His father had been a mage, that two out of the three children he had managed to have magic was no surprise. When she is done she walks away to speak with one of the other women in the group. 

“Why did she mark you?” Fenris asks Carver curiously. 

“She always has. Her, father and Bethany all used to mark mother and I. Why is that odd?” Carver asks glancing at the elf and noticing he does not smell like Hawke at all.

“Yes, usually they only mark their mates. I have never seen an omega mark another alpha.” 

“Does it make you want me?” Carver smiles as he asks this. Fenris scowls and doesn't answer making Carver laugh. 

When Bartrand locks Carver, Hawke, Fenris, Anders and Varric in the vault that they find a lyrium idol in she is pissed and panicking. “Easy Hawke, there is a door in the back here that leads out. I can get it open just give me a second.” Varric knows her fears and feels them as well. They battle rock wraiths until they get to a huge cavern. In this cavern is a demon and his offer is tempting. 

“I can show you the way out or you can perish down here. I know where the key is. You will not be able to defeat this monster. As an extra boon I shall grant you woman mage a way free from your predicament.” 

“No Hawke, do not make deals with demons. We have faced challenges before and won, believe in us.” Anders says knowing its a demon. 

“I do my own battles demon, you'll find no food here.” Hawke casts lightning at the monster. It roars and Fenris yanks her out of the range of fists. 

“Please don't get yourself killed in the process.” Fenris pushes her to the back as he and Carver go to keep it distracted while the mages and Varric kill it. 

“Carver!” Hawke yells being cornered by several of the wraiths and smacking at them with her staff. Fenris uses his markings and speed to get the things away from her and glaring as she sends a bolt of ice right where he was a moment ago. When it falls they explore the tomb and find the monster was guarding a hell of a treasure trove. 

“Grab what you can carry and lets get out of here. Map says there should be a way out of here in the next tunnel. 

As they walk Carver is lagging behind and Hawke casts a heal on him. “Can we rest?” He asks and Hawke is to him in a moment as he collapses.

“Taint, I can feel it in him. We cannot heal him, there is nothing to be done.” Anders admits after examining him. “There might be Wardens down here, I know where they will be if they are and it's not far. If we can get him to them they can make him a Warden and he will not perish.” Anders finishes looking at Hawke. 

“I will not loose him, lets get him to the Wardens.” Hawke demands and Fenris helps Anders with Carver. They walk for what seems hours before Anders stops them. 

“Here, either they are here or its a huge group of dark-spawn.” It's dark-spawn and they take care of them quickly. Anders is finishing one when a man in Warden uniform comes from another tunnel with four others. 

“Anders. Fancy meeting you down here.” 

“Stroud, I am glad it is you we ran into, I need your help. This is Fenris, Varric, Hawke and Carver. Carver has the taint, he would make an excellent Warden.” 

“We do not recruit out of mercy Anders, you know this.” Stroud is shaking his head and looking at Hawke. 

“I do but with the blight over I am sure recruits have stopped lining up at the door besides he would be worth your time.” Anders is persistent. 

“Fine, we will try. We will need to get him to the surface quickly. So you're the Omega.” Stroud takes a step towards Hawke as she retreats staff in front of her. Fenris is there in a moment glaring at the man and Stroud backs off. 

“Your mate is a fool to bring you down here during a heat.” 

“Don't you have a Warden to recruit?” Fenris indicates Carver staying in protective mode. 

“We do, always a pleasure Anders.” When they leave they get back on the path to getting out of there. 

“Well with bad luck it'll take us about a week to get topside.” Varric says smiling. 

“Good luck?” Hawke asks truly ready to get out of the ground. 

“Good luck we trip over Bartrand's corpse on the way.” Fenris smiles at this. 

When they get back from the Deep Roads Fenris helps Hawke move some of her things to his house. With Anders living at her house she needs a place to stay and Fenris refuses to live with Anders. Done with that Fenris takes her to see Anders at the clinic. It's the end of the day and Anders is finishing up with a patient. “Hawke?” Anders asked questioningly surprised to see her there. 

“I need conformation on something.” Anders nods and runs his hands lightly over her. Then does it again and then one more time. 

“How is this possible?” Anders frowns as Fenris leans against the wall next to the door. 

“What is the problem?” He asks walking closer though does not touch Hawke. 

“I’m not pregnant.” 

“How is that possible? I thought that was the guarantee of a first bonding.” Fenris asks looking from her to Anders. 

“It does happen on rare occasions, I have heard of it but never seen it. What happened down there?” Anders asks crossing his arms and bumping Hawke lightly with his shoulder. 

“You don’t remember?” Hawke moves away from both of them, holding a hand up when Anders would follow so he stops and sits on another of the cots across from her. 

“No, Justice took over and then I woke up with a knot on my head. Anything before that is a blur.” 

“You forced the issue.” Fenris admits quietly fingers clenching for a moment. 

“What how?” Anders is bewildered eyes glancing between the two before settling on Fenris. 

“She couldn’t get the door closed, Justice threatened to claim her if I didn’t. She knew you didn’t want to claim her so she picked me.” Fenris admits bitterly. He'll never forgive Anders for what happened down there. 

“Oh Hawke, I’m sorry. I never would have.” Anders is apologetic though does not move from where he sits. 

“It’s fine, I chose” Hawke's voice trembles as she is close to tears. 

“Does this mean we are not actually bonded?” Fenris asks not moving from where he is fighting his urge to comfort her knows he would be rejected. 

“Officially until she bears a child you are not bonded. Do you experience the longing?” Anders asks curious.

“I don’t know, I will test it in the next couple of weeks.” Hawke stands hand running down her robe to smooth it as she leaves. Fenris does not follow and instead walks closer to Anders. 

“How is that going?” Anders asks indicating Hawke. 

“Just like that. We moved some of her stuff but she hasn’t slept in the house yet, she did not sleep much on the way back from the deep roads, avoids my touch like the plague. I have been through this before; she is not acting like a bonded mate.” Fenris is lost and Anders has no way to help him. 

“I would say you are the alpha she should bow to your wishes but I know Hawke. If she wasn’t a mage she would be alpha. She is not happy, and I have no idea how to help her without either pissing you off or her.” Anders is at a loss here.

“Can she take the suppressant again?” Fenris asks curiously. 

“Yes but if there is a chance she isn’t bonded don’t you want to secure your bond with her during her next cycle?” Anders is curious if the elf wants this, they've always had a healthy competition over her affections. 

“I don’t know. If we thought she was bad in the deep roads could you imagine what she will be like in a Heat house or the Mansion?” Anders’ eyes go wide on that and he shakes his head. 

“Mercy on us all Fenris.” He answers and another person comes in needing healing. Fenris withdraws and heads back to the house. He knows Hawke will not be there, for all he has a mate it doesn’t feel like he does. Looking at the sky he knows where to find the others and goes in search of them at the Hang Man for Wicked Grace. 

“Broody, figured with Hawke at home you might start missing these.” Varric smiles dealing him in. 

“No, I wouldn’t.” 

“What is with the extra broodiness?” Isabella asks sitting down and dealing herself in. 

“He bonded with Hawke while we were in the deep roads.” Varric admits and doesn’t miss Isabella’s in-drawn breath. Dark skinned, ebony hair and artfully shown off curves he'd wondered if the pirate had caught Fenris in her net. 

“Where is little Hawke?” Isabella asks next and Varric shakes his head and fills her in on the fact Carver had to join the Wardens after being trapped in the deep roads. 

“Well congrats on the bonding and the impending little one. Never took either of you as ready to settle down, didn’t even know she was interested in you.” Isabella smiles sadly she'll miss Carver the tall strapping man ever a target for her affections if only to get him to blush. 

“She wasn’t.” Fenris is flat in his response and Isabella looks at him sympathetically. 

“Then the Maker have mercy on you both.” Is her reply. 

“Did I miss anything else?” She asks looking at Varric and smiles when he shakes his head.“Good then let’s play.” 

Hawke is in Carver’s room, putting things away into a box for storage. It’s about 10 o’clock when Anders slips out to get Fenris. When Fenris sees Anders he stands and moves away from the table taking his leave. “Come to the house, There is something you need to know.” Fenris frowns but follows Anders back to the Estate. As he sits in the small library next to her room he hears the music and looks at Anders.

“Wait for it.” Then he hears her, she is singing the saddest song he has ever heard. 

“She does this every night since she came back from the deep roads. I had no idea she could play at all.” Anders admits quietly. 

“She is not grieving Carver.” Both men jump when Hawke’s mother comes out of her room to listen to her daughter. 

“She is lamenting her loss, loss of freedom, life, and future. I have never heard her so sad.” Leandra says putting a hand on the wall connecting to her room. “What did you do to my child?” It is a question for Fenris and he shakes his head sadly. 

“I thought it was what she wanted, I never would have made that choice for her. I never should have given in.” Fenris stands and walks to the stairs down. “Undo this Anders, find a way to undo this please.” Anders nods at Fenris’ request. 

“Do you know of a way short of death?” Leandra asks Anders. 

“Not yet but there has to be a way. They can’t live like this.” Leandra nods at Anders’ response and goes back to her room. 

Fenris looks at the small amount of stuff Hawke has placed in his house and shakes his head. He starts looking in the library of the mansion. It has mostly Tevinter books and he knows enough to identify the books he might get the answer from. There are a couple of promising ones but he is stumped on the words and throws one in frustration. “Not up for company?” Varric asks walking in the door slowly. 

“I am not fit for company Varric, I apologize.” 

“Talk to me Broody, I might be able to help you.” Fenris chews his cheek on how much to tell the dwarf, how angry would Hawke be for each piece of information he gives the dwarf. 

“Have you spoken to her?” Fenris asks tentatively. 

“Not since the deep roads no. It’s been a week and I thought by now she would have this place in shape.” Varric eyes the disaster of a house.

”She does not live here.” Fenris speaks softly leaning against the fireplace to glance at his guest. 

“How is that possible?” Varric sits in one of the chairs it offers up enough dust to have him coughing. Hawke would never tolerate this must dust and dirt anywhere she bordered on OCD when it came to cleanliness both of her person and objects around her. 

“When she feels the longing she comes to me. Otherwise we stay apart. She is not pregnant, she does not want me.” Fenris is bitter in defeat. 

“I know she accepted you, I was there.” 

“Anders is looking for a way to break it. I do not want to be tied to her if she does not wish it.” Fenris grabs the book he threw and sits back down.

“Not possible I thought except in death.” Varric grabs another book looks at the title in question. 

“Hence the reason I am in the library trying to find a book. Most of these are Tevinter in origin and if there was anyone that would figure out how to break a bond it would be them. Usually its to kill the alpha but what about when the alpha is too valuable? There has to be a way.” Fenris is frustrated again. 

“You could actually court her Fenris, you could try to win her over. Maker’s breath never mind I forget who I am talking to what am I looking for?” Varric opens the book in his hand not sure what to look for. When Fenris explains he is up discarding the one in hand and walking towards the shelves. Varric starts at the other end of the library and Fenris shows him the word for Slave in Tevinter. They spend the next few days combing the library and come up with a few books. 

“Do we know anyone we trust that can read Tevinter?” Anders walks in one day to see Varric scowling at the book on his lap and Fenris feet on the desk scowling at his as well. 

“I can to a point, Hawke was teaching me to read common and I have a rudimentary knowledge of Tevinter’s written language why did you find something?” Fenris closes the book he is looking at and puts his feet down. 

“I do if I understand this correctly. Good news is you are already doing it. However I need to make sure we aren’t going to drive her insane I need more information about your life as a slave.” Anders glances at the elf expectantly. 

“I was a slave there was no life.” Fenris is shifting uncomfortably.

“More info please.” Anders sighs. He knew this was going to be difficult.

“I know but this is not easy for me. Fine, settle in because it will not be pleasant and you will not thank me for the telling.” When they are all seated and have the proper alcohol Fenris starts speaking. 

“I was trained as a body guard, anything before the markings is gone. I was forcefully bonded to a mage. After the bonding we were never in the same cage again. He was always in close proximity to me to prevent the longing but never in the same cage. I was bred to beta females mostly.”

“Why they don’t have heat cycles.” Varric says confused. 

“True but they are still fertile and they still have a womb. Alpha’s aren’t fertile unless they are bonded.” Fenris has a ghost of a smile on his face. 

“Oh Fenris, I am truly sorry.” Anders is horrified. 

“I was controlled by another mage, Danarius who was not bonded. He’s never bonded that I know of. When I escaped I killed my mate, I would not allow him to go insane. There were times we were separated for days, weeks and I shudder to think what he went through during that time.” Fenris says shaking his head at the memories. 

“That is why you are not trying to force Hawke, you are used to being separated from your mate. You’d not force the issue with her.” Anders crosses his arms after finishing his drink. 

“Yeah well I am running out of time on any issue, she goes back in heat in three days. I have no idea if she wants to take the suppressant or actually try to make this work. I do not want her to hate me and so far she does.” Fernis leans against the fireplace not looking at the other two men. 

“She is still singing, she barely eats, she is a ghost of the woman she was before this.” Anders admits quietly. 

“She sings?” Varric is surprised.

“Yes, very well actually and plays the lute.” Anders smiles wryly at the dwarf. 

“Do you even know her first name?” Varric asks and Anders shakes his head no while Fenris smiles. 

“She would skin me alive with her teeth if she found out you know she sings much less plays a lute. He's not dumb enough to give up her first name to you Varric.” Anders smirks. 

“She's always so damn secretive. Only reason I know anything about her is because I am around her.” Varric wrinkles his nose in disgust at the woman he has followed for years but feels he barely knows.  
“I know neither of you are big on talking Fenris, but in this case it might actually help.” 

“That would require me to be in range of her, she hasn't touched me at all since the deep roads. I probably don't even smell like her anymore.” Fenris runs fingers through the white hair disheveling it for a moment. 

“No and she doesn't smell like you either.” Anders acknowledges.

“She won't come near me unless she has to, even then its through the door or in the same room but not touching. When we first got back she had to be near me every day. Now its every three or four days. I have no idea if she is suffering the effects of the longing and can't take it or if she's actually building immunity to it.” Fenris is frustrated. 

“She is building immunity to you. Its what I was trying to figure out. Basically if she can get the heat suppressant and check in with you every few days she can actually keep going the way she is until she doesn't need you anymore. She'll be infertile, she can't rebond either but she doesn't have to stay with you. It does have a long term degenerative effect though. She'll loose her sanity and her magic.” Anders says piecing it together. 

“There is no way to break the bond though?” Fenris asks. 

“Not that I can find.” Anders hands the book to Fenris and pointing at the page. 

“Fine, I need to figure out how to woo a woman who hates me because I did what she asked me to.” Fenris shakes his head and Varric laughs. 

Hawke is shifting from foot to foot her hand reaching and then being taken back away from the knob in front of her. Finally Anders opens the door and pulls her in and puts the suppressant in her palm. “Go. Go to a heat house, leave the city, go to Fenris just don't stay here.” He tries to close the door on her. 

“Why? Why don't you care? Don't you want me?” Hawke is playing with fire and enjoying the flames. 

“No Hawke I don't. I do not want to bond with you or any other omega.” 

“How is it you aren't an omega? Only 1% of the mages born are alphas. Were you an omega and then bonded with Justice who made you an alpha?” 

“No Hawke, I was born an alpha and Justice is what I am. He's a spirit Hawke not a being with flesh and blood. He is affected by my urges and needs. We feed each other but he is not alpha.” 

“I am not bonded Anders, you could bond with me.” Hawke is rubbing against him and maker she smells amazing. Closing his eyes he tries to ignore her sultry dance as she marks him and begs him. 

“You chose Fenris Hawke, you are bonded to him.” He says taking his roving hands off of her even as she is sighing in pleasure at his touch. 

“He does not want me, has chosen to stay away from me.” She reaches out and traces a finger along his jaw. Cupping his face she leans on tiptoe and kisses him. Pulling him along with her he is powerless to stop himself from following her out of the clinic and to the entrance to her basement. Trading kisses with him she keeps him wanting and needy as they enter the house. Soon they are in her bedroom and she is pulling his clothes off and he has hers undone and off shortly. She takes him by the hand and backs to the bed pulling him down on top of her. When she lightly traces her nails along his back he shakes his head and looks at her. 

“No Hawke, this isn't right, let me go. Please let me go.” Anders is begging and stumbles away from her pulling his pants on even as she is on her knees crawling to him on the bed. Gritting his teeth he gets the suppressant from her clothes and grabbing her roughly pours it down her throat. She is sputtering and fighting but as a healer he has lots of practice getting potions down cranky children throats and he jumps away from her and smiles when she casts a spell that hits his barrier. 

“You will not tempt me Hawke. Go home to Fenris, I will not be your next regret.” He locks her in her room and is on his way out to get Fenris when he comes striding into the house. 

“She is here.” He says smelling her on him. 

“I did not Fenris, she is on suppressant and locked in her room. She is not happy and very horny. Take her home and work out your issues with her.” Anders is frustrated. 

“She chose you, she chose to seduce you.” Fenris is heartbroken. 

“Fenris, don't push this. We both know what decisions she makes when she is like this are not ones she likes. I will not lose my friendship with her over this. I have no idea how Justice will react to this though, currently he is trying to take control, he wants her badly.” Anders grips the rail. 

Fenris nods and unlocks the door to find Hawke lying on the bed trying to satisfy herself. He needs to get her to the mansion and takes the sheet she is on and bundles her into it. She is spitting like a wildcat and trying to get loose and Fenris is not letting go. “Anders, Anders help! Don't let him take me!” Fenris pauses at this looks at Anders who shakes his head no. 

“Control your mate Alpha.” Varric stands outside the door glaring at Fenris. “Wrapped up in a sheet and carried over your shoulder through the streets oh this is going to be an interesting story.” Fenris glares at the dwarf as they get to the mansion and Fenris closes and locks the door. Walking up the steps to his bedroom he closes and locks this door and then puts her in the bathroom and locks her in. 

“Take a bath, clean up. You will obey me Hawke.” He orders and hears her thump against the door and then beating at it. Ignoring her for the moment he blocks the door with a dresser and then the door to the balcony with another one. He opens the bathroom door and finds her on the floor her fists bloody. “Take a bath Hawke, please.” Her eyes flash but she obeys. 

Once clean Hawke comes into the bedroom to see Fenris in all his male glory lounging on the bed. She smiles as she runs hands all over herself and walks towards him. “So it seems my mate actually does want me.” Hawke waves a hand indicating how hard he already is. 

“Always Hawke, always. I thought you didn't want me.” Hawke stills her hands and looks away at that. 

“Come to me Hawke, I can smell you from here. You are more than aroused and only I can sate you, you know this is true.” Hawke shakes her head and stays where she is. Dropping his voice an octave he commands her to him and she has to obey. He will pay for that later, right now he needs her. Needs to bond with her, needs to mark her as his after she tried to seduce Anders. Only when she is under him, only when he is buried all the way in does he draw back from her to look at her as she mews in pleasure at his attention. “Hawke, stop fighting me. We were friends once, you wanted this. You've marked me before, stop fighting me please. I love you, have loved you since you defended me from the slavers.” He is thrusting as he says this unable to keep his body still and she runs her nails lightly over him and looks at him tears in her eyes. “You are so damn stubborn you won't even acknowledge your feelings for me will you?” She bites her lip shaking her head no at him. Even as she is moaning in pleasure she is denying him and it hurts. 

“What happened to your first mate?” She asks suddenly and he stops. Looking at her he debates telling her. 

“I killed him when I escaped. He didn't want to come with me and I didn't want to leave him in pain.” Fenris says stroking her face. 

“Will you kill me before you leave?” Hawke asks cupping his face. 

“I would drag you with me. I will not give you up, I will not be separated from you.” Both of them gasp as his knot locks them together. 

“Danarius might still come after you.” Hawke traces a finger over his markings on his chest not looking at him. 

“I pray he does every single day, when he does I will kill him and we will be free to go or stay as we please. I will not abandon you or our children Hawke. I made a choice that night too. I chose to go to you and accept your bond. I tried to not fully bond with you, almost made it too except that last day you did the one thing I couldn't say no to.” Fenris cups her face making her look at him. 

“I bathed you, I remember that much and the wonderful feeling of completeness afterwards when you were in me. I feel it now, its as if you are my other half and I am only complete when you are in me.” Hawke admits not breaking his gaze.

“That is what it feels like to be bonded Hawke. You will always have me and I will always have you. No more seducing other Alphas though please, you have no idea how hard it was to leave Anders alone.” Hawke sighs at the hopeful note in his voice, she can do this. She can be okay with this elf, she can build a life with this man.


End file.
